Bute was shocked today, when it was discovered that a local dog is a vicious racist. "I just couldn't believe it," said the dog's owner, Mr. Ray Cist, "he's always been fairly well behaved around 'them' in the past, but recently its been like he joined the BNP or something." According to Dr. Jack Russell, canine behaviourist, it is not uncommon for dogs to develop a deep hatred of ethnic minorities. "It stems back to childhood," says Dr. Russell, "we give our pets names with obvious racial connotations, and expect them to not be affected by it. But I'll tell you this - PETS ARE RACIST."
The turning point, when this dog began down the steep decline toward racism,came when he watched a TV documentary about the rise of Fascism in the 1930s. Mr. Cist continues the story: "he was captivated by it, every time the Fuhrer spoke it was like he was speaking directly to my dog. I've heard theories in the past about our beloved Fuhrer being such a gifted orator because he spoke in a very high frequency, due to him only having one ball - I just never would have guessed that he was speaking to my dog."
After watching the documentary, presented by the late Bernard Manning, the dog is reported to have demanded his name be changed. "I'd always called him Patch," says Ray, "but he must have thought that name implied that there was some black in him. He demanded I change his name to Whitey."
Whitey, as he is now known, has recently been seen hanging around outside the local Chinese takeaway, barking loudly whenever one of the proprieters attempts to leave the premises, but going up to the (predominantly white) clientele looking for table scraps.
It is not known how many dogs on the island have joined Whitey, but conservative estimates range between 50 and 100 racist dogs. Ray Cist says "I can't believe it, its fantastic...I mean....its terrible. Its not like I changed his name for him, I'm not trying to raise an army of dogs you know." When it was pointed out to Mr. Cist that no-one was accusing him of such a thing, he replied "thank God for that."
Mr. Cist would like to point out that he is not a Nazi, and has only ever been to 15 BNP meetings, and only stood for election as a BNP candidate twice.
